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ancientgoddessofegypt · 4 months ago

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Cleopatra's Secret.

The Ways Of The Wise Woman. Beauty Secrets Of The Nile.

Cleopatra was an empress, a goddess, a mystic woman. She was a lady who knew how to attract the flow of abundance to her.

Cleopatra knew all about beauty and how to keep them strong, powerful and vibrant. To this day, we still don't know everything she has done to be known as the beauty queen she is today.

In my own years, I have found a liking to her. There are moments in my own life, where I feel as though there is a connection of some sort. Im pretty good at taking understanding to the vibration of certain goddesses and queens from past generations. Sometimes they come with a message. Others, like cleopatra, come with divine guidance.

In this reading, I will bless others with a truth that all of us have come to learn, and are still trying to accept.

The first thing is this:

The beauty standard isn't real. Beauty is not something outside of the self. It is always in you, first. Everything else comes as a source of inspiration from the Goddess. You are not only beautiful because the entire world says that you are, that is merely the flesh. It is the vibration, the energy you put in to your work to obtain beauty, and the luxury you have into keeping it.

Cleopatra's secret is that of self-love, and knowing what works for her & using that to her advantage. Especially with her hair.

The thing's that I would like to mention is this, You guys have to want to see it for yourselves. See it in you, first, and the guidance of what works for your body-mind-soul comes right after.

So I have a story I would like to talk about, on what even made me speak about this. One day I was out with one of my favorite looks, but I had to pin it up because it was too much for me. Usually I love it in a ponytail, but today not so much.

Tell me why the entire day I had got nothing but compliments on my hair! My hair! My hair my hair! That's all I kept hearing. And sure I was flattered, but I noticed there was a different vibe coming in when it came to the hair and how everyone gawked at it. People stopped and stared, one asked for a picture, some would just come up to me telling me how beautiful I looked. I was shocked, because again. I wasn't vibing with my hair like this fully.

Not only did they compliment my hair, they complimented the outfit as everything went together (the hair color had matched the dress). And someone even said i looked like a painting, another an empress.

With all the beautiful compliments, It was like they seen a ghost. All jokes. But you catch my drift right?

I had a full day out an about, so the entire day I got tones of compliments, my final compliment of the night is what inspired me to write this when a guy tells me that my hair reminded him of 'cleopatra'.

I said huh? Cleo? Lol.

And of course it was all love. Just jokes.

My hair wasn't even in braids, which is why I found it funny.

And even though he was playing, I had meditation sessions where cleopatra would come out into the meditation, as if a ritual was taking place. This was a while back, before the comment. I noticed I kept feeling her vibes and would catch a couple of syncs from her, thinking it was from working on a couple of goddess readings. Something about what he said rung a bell right after.

Although his compliment was very sweet, Immediately had one of those 'eureka' moments. Like that of Jimmy Neutron. Lol.

'Cleopatra's Secret"

She had been speaking through me all today. With my experience of course. I could imagine how she must feel being known with a distinguished look that nobody else had. A body of her dreams, and an aura of delight. She was a chosen one who was cherished with a royal empire, but not only that, she had looks that could kill. That was her, Cleopatra.

It was a message. The entire day was a reminder. The signature style. The energy, the appeal.

I have spoken before that goddesses and gods tend to carry a vibration and you can channel them. It wasn't me channeling her at the time but I could understand that whatever I was sensing from cleo it showed itself to me that day. I was just relaxing in the sun. Her spirit walked so that we could run.

The Style. The Flair. The Signature Look Of An Era.

GIF by indigaux

She had a DISTINCTIVE look which is why so many gawked at her. She did not look like anyone you've seen in your day. Which is why she was so special. Cleopatra had the LOOK. She was the MOMENT. She was the IT GIRL! In today's language, that's what she'd be. It is about knowing what works and shaping that into your reality. I knew my favorite hairstyle would always get the girls looking ;) but when i toned it up a notch it had the girls singin'!

Is the style you're going for you look forward to wearing? Be it you cut it different, changed the color, adding a little accessory. How does it make you stand out?

From hair to clothes, finding your niche is what works. & letting go of whatever doesn't make the cut in what typically looks like eye candy. You gotta give yourself something you'd desire seeing for a long time. As the people will never make you forget it. ;)

Cleopatra had her own style. Her own flow. Her own grace. She didn't mirror anyone you would see, and she took advantage of that. & I'm here to say you can too.

Here are some tips as far as confidently being yourself go, and then we go into the spiritual baths & luxuries miss cleo would have indulged in herself.

The Sun Child

Cleopatra was a one of a kind. Lets start there. She had the confidence of a woman who knew she was gorgeous. Who knew everyone wanted a glimpse of one of god's most beautiful creations. Everyone wanted to touch her hair, to taste her, to smell her eloquent perfume... She was someone you wanted to have but couldn't imagine the possibilities.. Because in her mind, she knew that all you would get is a fantasy. In the city of the nile rivers, this beauty was chosen to light up the people with her smile and seductive prowess. So much so this helped her win and intrigue men, helping her win wars throughout her dynasty.

So for you, I say to be a light. To conquer your inner strength and use that as your advantage. Take what you can and run with it. Because your aura is a hypnotizer, as is the sun of course.

When your light shines, you become a Goddess, because you are a reflection of what gives us life.

Rose Bath

GIF by mizworldofrandom

One thing Miss Cleopatra was most known for was her beautiful bath water routine. Every night she'd soak into a bath that would make her skin pop, fresh, and glowing.

So here is an inspired Rose petal baths on a sunday afternoon will be a killer for your skin. Add in shea butter with nut milk (oats or almond milk) with some leaves from your garden, soaking into the bath for about 25-45 minutes will give you an everlasting sensation as you awake.

Also a cup of lavender, as well as some sea salt/epsom salt will do the trick for any anxiety you have been feeling. If you don't have that problem, lavender is also good to help with better sleep.

Lemon Balm Milk Tea W/ Almond Milk

GIF by prettygirlthatsparkles

1 cup of almond milk.

1 tbsp of lemon balm / half tps rosemary, 1 tsp basil leaves

1 tps of honey

1 tsp Caramel filling (or to your liking)

pinch of sea salt mixed well (A PINCH)

mix together.

You can infuse the herb extraction into the milk.

Another way is getting 1 1/2 cup of water in a pot. slightly boil for 5 minutes, place the herbs in there for 2-3 for them to begin infusing. Mix the 1 cup of milk into the pot

You can use a hand mixer to give your milk tea that 'fluffy' look at the top.

1 chunk of cinnamon powder drizzeled at the top

Enjoy.

Aura - The Mystique

If there is one thing I got for you all, is that the vibes need to match the face. Your beauty is one thing, but your vibe is another. And if theres anything that you need to do, you need to work your magic on the world ladies. The gift in being you is in your vibration. How does it feel to be you? To wake up as you? To breathe in your skin? To simply BE.

Your energy is magic. Meditating on the way you want to view the world helps the aura shape its reality. You are youthful, vibrant and intelligent. Use that energy to its advantage. Go to places that represent the person you want to become. Study and read the books that give you the most insight on what it is you desire to understand. Look beyond the universe.

And. Tell. Nobody.

The mystery in who you are is that anybody can be perceived, but the beauty in being who you are is that you are perceive-less. And thats the energy you want to embody.

Nobody knows you. But yourself.

Open Your Spirits, Come The New Dawn

So as I'm currently outside writing this, I'm allowing my intuitive mind to come in and talk to me.

Cleopatra was very spiritual, and was heavily impacted by the moons energies. The sun had a big play in her story/impact. But her wisdom came from self-reflection and having play time outside with the moon's glow.

As I written before, she was the sun's darling. Her aura shined bright because she knew she was The One.

And as do you.

You are much greater than the stars because you come from them.

You are the entire sunset, to the moon and back.

You are a gracious creator, because the God's gifted you with skin that reminensed theirs.

You are capable of anything if you let it. So Mote it be.

With Cleopatra's story, her eyes gazed into the moonlight and she became the wind. She held tightly to her reflection as it is the very thing that opens up the mind finding its way into the heart.

She was open to understanding the things she didn't grow up in. She allowed lessons and tribulations to be her story, but to not let it break her.

She was open to the memories of the nile, the banquets, the rituals, the energy, the channels of the godly forces of creation. The energy of the Sun. She was knowing of her strength. Knowing of her power. Knowing of her grace. She knew who she was at a young age, and she always thought highly of her presence.

Til' Next Time..

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ominous-duck-epistle · 1 month ago

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It’s killing me that Lizzie has been the only source of forgiveness for Pearl so far. In all the seasons.

In Last Life, she never really antagonized anyone (except for a brief moment where she stole Scar’s cactus).

In Double Life, obviously, no one ever forgave her. Scott and Cleo didn’t forgive her for episode one. Martyn held his grudge for her imaginary transgressions against him (she didn’t really do anything to him). Ren and BigB didn’t really forgive her; Ren did make amends when he was in the Broke Hearts Club with her, but that was more of an apology than forgiveness. She killed BDubs and Impulse on their last life, so they weren’t alive to hold a grudge.

In Limited Life, Jimmy didn’t forgive her for killing Judge Judy and Executioner, Scott didn’t forgive her (that I can remember) for stealing the enchanter. Cleo and the rest of the Clockers didn’t forgive her for allying with Team TIES.

But in Secret Life, Lizzie held a grudge against everyone for not going to her party. But she didn’t against Pearl (and Joel ig). Pearl asks her if they are still good and Lizzie says that they are. That season, Lizzie had no allies, and she wasn’t really amicable with anyone, but with Pearl it was different, she was okay with Pearl and didn’t hold it against her that she didn’t go to her party like with everyone else.

And again in Wild Life, (skipping Real Life because Pearl didn’t do anything to anyone in RL) Pearl tries to kill Lizzie like 5 times in a row. But when she gets a question wrong, Lizzie still says, “We have to save Pearl!”, and when Pearl tells her the answer to her question, Lizzie says that she forgives her. Something that no one else had done for her. In this same season, Gem is having beef with Pearl for something that happened the PREVIOUS season. And, I guess, Scott and Cleo have forgiven her for Double Life, but THREE SEASONS LATER (four if you count Real Life).

No one else has given Pearl this grace except for Lizzie. Pearl herself didn’t even give Lizzie this grace. In Last Life, when Lizzie boogey-kills her, afterwards Pearl says that she is still scared of her and doesn’t want to be near her. And Lizzie doesn’t blame her, because, in the Life Series, forgiveness isn’t common. Holding grudges keeps you alive. If you forgive someone, it gives them a chance to betray you again.

Lizzie forgives her, time and again, in a game so devoid of forgiveness.

#thank you for listening to my essay #maybe it’s because Lizzie hasn’t been in many seasons #maybe she doesn’t know how uncommon and deadly it is #traffic smp #life series #pearlescentmoon #trafficblr #ldshadowlady #wild life smp #wild life spoilers #wild life session 5 #my posts

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ivys-garden · 2 months ago

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Wild Life Spoilers: Session 2 Alliance Report:

Teams:

The Spanners - (Mumbo, Grian, Skizz) - formerly the Sub One Club, immediately forget their idea of using crawl mode and lament that they can't be sub one anymore. Mumbo then decides they are “The Floaters” due to them becoming obsessed with the levitation ability. Luckily this doesn't stick because I could not handle an alliance that changes name every session. Mumbo and Skizz built their “base” as a series of bridges, leading to Mumbo calling them “The Spanners” since “they span things”.

Speaking of levitation, they died from that. And starvation. This was not Mumbo or Skizzes session, with Mumbo losing two life's and Skizz losing 3, halfing his amount of lives in one session. If Skizz loses one next week he will be yellow. Seems Grian's curse of outlining his alliance has started early.

The Bam-Boozelers - (Scar, Lizzie, Jimmy)

I normally have a lot of faith in all life series teams. I think anyone can make it to the end. I think this so long as it is not abundantly clear that they're doomed. I never say someone is Doomed from the star-

This team is doomed from the start. Immediately they decide that the Wild Card is that he can't heal from hunger, now this is a good first thought and is shared by other teams, though those other teams immediately realised that if that were the Wild Card everyone would die of hunger and started looking for other options.

These 3? They stuck with that idea and started making boats to travel. When they realised that their hunger reduced passively, they panicked until Grian saved them by telling everyone in chat that they could eat anything. Now, armed with this knowledge they just have to find a good and easy to use food source.

They chose stone shovels. An item that cannot be stacked and required way more effort and resources to make than was worth it. And they stuck by this even as others told them about better foods. They only stopped using shovels because of the randomisation.

How is Jimmy the most confident member on his team?

In other news, they're theme park is going well and Lizzie's Parrot is cute. Jimmy also apparently has “Big Mascot Energy”.

Renwood - (Martyn, Ren)

These dogs are just vibing. They each lose a life each, no big deal. A far cry from previous seasons, Ren is just chilling, Not going after anyone unless they go after them first and trying to get Martyn to do the same. And he actually does, not attacking anyone this session at all. He even gives up going after Jimmy for stealing their cows (an action which was by every account deserved.)

The Tuff Guys (Tango, Etho, Bdubs) (not technically together (?))

Ah yes, Team B.E.S.T without Skizz …. Considering Skizz was the only person keeping Team B.E.S.T from imploding, this can only go well!

Yeah this team is not staying together. Technically they're already breaking up, with Bdubs saying they should only look out for themselves and insisting they live in different houses. Bdubs even cements this mentality by fully encouraging Scar to help kill Tango for no reason.

As for the “Tuff” part, Etho has decided that they need to be tougher and take what they want from people. You know, not to be nice or polite.

Luckily we can see how this works in practice, as Gem encourages him to go be tough to the Final Girls, let's see how Etho is an not being nice:

● he greets Scott and Cleo

● makes small talk

● politely asks for copper

● tries to stop Pearl stealing from them since he doesn't know she's on they're team

● takes more of the stuff he was told he could have

● gives them obsidian in return anyway

● and still feels bad about it.

Yeah not only was this the least tough Etho had ever been, the Girls almost certainly didn't notice and probably won't even care when they do. Great job Etho.

The Fast And The Furious (Gem, Joel)

This session, Gem announced her plan to make friends so people don't judge them based on 5 seasons worth of going insane every time they go red. This lasts for 3 minutes before other people arrive, Scar misunderstands instructions, Etho lets the cops out and the Final Girls partake in their favourite pastime of miscommunication and insisting their own teammates are doing something they aren't.

Other attempts to make friends do go better, with Gem arguably being on good terms with everyone except two people. So that's good.

Gem also builds a cute little Bard that I give a session before it's burnt down or has a Creeper hole in it. Joel spends all session building a car. Everyone on the server thinks it's hideous, mainly because it is hideous.

The Final Girls - (Scott, Pearl, Cleo, Impulse, Bigb)

Somehow the most stable team here, even if it is mostly out of spite. Yeah this team will stay together, the core four have never betrayed anyone unless an outside faction is involved. They're safe. Even if they continue the tradition of forgetting all the bad stuff they did and only reimbursing bad stuff their teammates did (what do you mean Pearl doesn't trust people based on what happened in previous seasons? That was you, Cleo!)

Oh Bigb also joined this session. Though I imagine this will be a Heart Foundation situation where he bases alone despite being on the team.

Scott and Cleo spend a lot of time this session fixing the mistakes Pearl and Impulse make by acting how they always do. A house and wall are built and Pearl and Impulse prepare revenge plans on Grian and Martyn. Pearl encourages Impulse not to tell the others, seemingly forgetting that Cleo and Bigb are addicted to revenge and would have no problem with this.

Alliances and Friendships:

Lizzie and Gem

these two agree to team up if their teammates die. Since their teammates are idiots.

Remember, Lizzie is the one who made the stone shovel plan.

Spanners Vs Bammers

The Bam-Boozelers still hate the Spanners, dropping their reputation all the way to zero. Mumbo and Skizz either don't realise this or don't care. Grian was gone almost all session mining so can't really say what his thoughts on the situation are.

The Family - (Joel, Etho, Gem)

Etho is indoctrinated into yet another family, though he seems more willing to be present for this one. When Tuff Guys breaks up like 5 minutes into session 3, we all know where he's going.

Also Scar might also be part of the family though every else seems to just ignore this.

Spanners Vs Tango

The Spanners are really angry at Tango for accidentally killing Skizz. They seem satisfied with manifesting his death through belief, but it seems they haven't let him off the hook yet. We all know Bdubs won't help him

Joel might also be mad at Tango since he ate the wheels of his ugly car.

Mumbo & Jimmy still hate Renwood

Mumbo still doesn't trust Martyn after the enchanter fiasco and Jimmy attempts to get revenge for the cow theft. Ren and Martyn have chosen to ignore this, Mumbo seems to have forgotten he was angry, and Jimmy is satisfied that he got revenge.

Ren buys his friends

Ren bought Gem and Tangos friendship through iron. Will this hold up? No.

Gem has beef with team oblivious

Gem hates Pearl and Impulse this season. They are at the top of her inevitable murder list.

● The Final Girls came round for a visit

● Impulse was accused of stealing

● He said he wouldt stela since he knows what it's like to be stolen from

● Gem took this as him amusing her of stealing

● Scott cut him off before he could explain himself by saying he was purposely antagonising them

● Gem cut both of them off by ranting about how much she doesn't trust them

Stellar miscommunication guys, great job as always. Please never change, the series would be way less funny if you did.

Pearl also made it worse by trying to Poison Gem 30 minutes later. Woopsie.

Neither Pearl nor Impulse notice that Gem hates them and the others refuse to tell them.

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classyhoeeee · 7 days ago

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'Distraction': Rafe Cameron 18+

Part 1 - Sarah, Kiara, and Cleo are on a mission to steal something from figure 8 with the reader. Something that Rafe Cameron, Topper or even Kelce wouldn’t let them get away with. The thing is, Rafe was their biggest threat. The pogue girls had an idea that involves the reader. They want her to distract him with a sexy truck wash. Thing is…the two of them have unfinished business.

pairing - Rafe Cameron x f!reader tags - enemies to lovers relationship, fingering, degradation, spit, overstimulation, a little rough, truck sex, wet mentions, reader orgasm, dirty talk, knifeplay, dark!rafe.

a/n - just a warning…this one is VERY freaky. Hehe. It’s my favorite one that I’ve written so far. enjoy.

……………………………………………………………………………..……

The Distraction

“Y’all are crazy as hell.”

The words left your mouth before you could even think them through, your voice loud enough to make Cleo snort and Sarah wince. Kiara, however, didn’t flinch. She simply leaned back against the rusted van, arms crossed, watching you with an infuriating calmness.

“It’s not that crazy, Y/N.”

“Yes, it is, Kie! It’s Rafe Cameron. I can’t believe I’m even saying this, but I think y’all forgot what he’s capable of. He literally swore he was gonna kill me.”

Cleo raised her eyebrows. “And yet, you’re still standing. Ain’t no bullets flying, is there?”

“That’s not the point,” you shot back, glaring. “The man is unhinged. He hasn’t forgotten what I did. I pushed his ass overboard. I stole his boat. His boat, Kie.”

“Exactly,” Sarah said, breaking her silence. “And yet, you’re the only one he hasn’t laid a hand on. Don’t you think that’s…weird? I’m his sister and he’s even tried to kill me.”

“It’s not weird. It’s Rafe. He probably thinks it’s more satisfying to scare the shit out of me from afar than to actually follow through.”

Sarah, Cleo, and Kiara shared a look, one of those silent girl-code moments you couldn’t quite decipher. It pissed you off immediately.

“What?”

“Listen,” Kiara started, holding up her hands, “we need this. You know we do. That safe in Ward Cameron’s study? It has everything we need to help the guys. But getting into Figure 8 without Rafe breathing down our necks? It’s impossible. He’s always watching, Y/N. And we know he’s gonna be there today.”

“And you think throwing me at him is gonna fix that shit?”

“Distract him,” Cleo corrected with a sly smile. “You know you can.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, the very thought making your skin prickle. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not gonna—”

“Wash his truck,” Sarah interrupted.

The words hit you like a slap to the face. “What?”

Kiara’s smile was almost apologetic. Almost. “It’s simple. He loves that stupid truck. You’ll get his attention in like…two seconds. Enough time for us to get in, grab the shit we need, and get out.”

“You want me to give Rafe Cameron a sexy car wash? Are y’all out of your damn minds?”

Cleo shrugged. “You look good. He’s obsessed with you. We’re just being resourceful.”

You pointed a finger at her, already fuming. “He’s not obsessed with me. He’s obsessed with revenge. There’s a difference.”

Sarah’s voice dropped, soft and coaxing. “Y/N, you’re the only one who can do this. If we screw this up, the guys are screwed. Please.”

You stared at her, at the pleading look in her eyes, and felt the weight of her words settle on your shoulders. You had come this far with them—you’d do anything to protect your own. That was the Pogue way.

Even if it meant putting yourself in front of the devil himself.

“Fine,” you muttered through gritted teeth. “But if Rafe kills me, I’m haunting y’all for the rest of your lives.”

Cleo grinned, clapping her hands together. “Deal.”

———

The truck sat under the sun like a black mirror, drops of water clinging to its surface and glinting in the light. You hated how it looked—pristine, perfect, expensive. Just like him.

And, like clockwork, Rafe Cameron appeared, materializing out of thin air like a goddamn nightmare.

He leaned against the porch railing, beer in hand, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The buzzed hair only made him look sharper, those pale blue eyes locking onto you like you were the only thing worth seeing. He looked you over—slowly. Starting at the mess of suds sliding down your brown arms, down to the soaked hem of your white top where your leopard print bra peeked through. His gaze lingered on the exposed skin of your thighs as you shifted in your tiny shorts, then flicked back up to your face.

Rafe smirked, slow and wolfish, before taking a long sip of his beer.

You’d already fucked up, and you hadn’t said a word.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again.” His voice was smooth and lazy, but the edge beneath it cut deep.

You turned to look at him, sponge still dripping in your hand. Despite the racing in your chest, you forced yourself to meet his gaze, tilting your chin up defiantly. “Rafe… I—”

“You what?” he interrupted, his smirk twitching wider. He stepped off the porch, the gravel crunching under his boots as he approached. He moved slow—deliberate—as though giving you the chance to run just so he could chase.

You glanced at the truck for a split second, calculating the space. Too far.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you said softly, surprising yourself with how steady your voice came out. “For everything.”

Rafe blinked. You saw it—the flicker of something in his expression as he stopped a few feet away. He looked at you like he wasn’t sure whether to believe you, his tongue running over the corner of his mouth. “Sorry?” he echoed, voice dripping with mockery.

You nodded, stepping just slightly closer, letting the sponge drop to the gravel. Your hand brushed your collarbone as you shifted, drawing attention to the trail of soap suds sliding down your skin. His eyes followed, just as you knew they would.

“I mean it,” you said softly, almost seductively, tilting your head just enough to let the sunlight catch the line of your jaw. “I shouldn’t have pushed you off the boat. I panicked.”

Rafe’s gaze darkened, but he didn’t say anything, his chest rising and falling steadily.

You kept going, forcing the words out like silk. “I shouldn’t have betrayed you. You didn’t deserve that.”

For a second—just a second—you saw his expression soften. His eyes dropped to your lips, his grip on the beer loosening slightly. He looked almost… hesitant. Like he wanted to believe you.

And then he laughed.

It was loud and sharp, the sound scraping down your spine like nails on a chalkboard. “You’re good, you know that?” Rafe said, shaking his head as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll give you that. You almost had me there.”

Your stomach dropped.

His eyes snapped back to yours, the smirk curling his lips twisting into something cruel. “You really think you can stand there, play the little innocent act, and I’m just gonna forget what you did?”

“Rafe, please—”

He moved fast, rounding the truck before you could react. You bolted around the other side, keeping the truck between you.

“Oh, this is cute,” Rafe taunted, his voice ringing out as you circled. “What’s the plan now, huh? Gonna fucking run? Where do you think you’re gonna go, Y/N? Huh?”

You didn’t answer. Your heart slammed against your ribs as you circled, your movements mirroring his as he prowled like a fucking lion.

“Stop running,” Rafe barked suddenly, slamming his palm against the hood of the truck. The sound made you jump. “You think I’m just gonna let you get away again? Like hell I will.”

He moved left—you darted right. It didn’t matter. You were too slow, and he was too fast. Rafe rounded the truck, and you ran.

You barely made it two steps before he caught you.

“Let me go!” you shrieked as his hand snatched your arm, yanking you back hard enough to send you stumbling. “You motherfucker!”

He didn’t. Rafe pinned you to the truck in one smooth motion, his body towering over yours. The heat of him, the size of him, made you feel small—helpless in a way that set your skin on fire.

Rafe’s face hovered inches from yours, his eyes gleaming with something dangerous. “What’s wrong, Y/N?” he murmured darkly. “You scared?”

You didn’t answer. Couldn’t.

Rafe leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear. “You should be.”

Your voice came out shaky. “Rafe—please—”

Rafe pulled back just slightly, and you saw it. The flash of silver in his hand. Your breath hitched.

The knife.

He twirled it between his fingers, slow and deliberate, his gaze locked on your face as you froze. “What was it you said last time?” he mused, dragging the blade lightly down your arm—not enough to cut, but enough to make you shiver. “I’m doing this for my friends, right?”

You whimpered softly, the sound escaping before you could stop it.

Rafe’s lips twitched, his eyes lighting up like you’d just given him the best gift in the world. “Say it again,” he whispered, pressing the flat edge of the knife against your throat—just enough to make your knees buckle. “That’s why you were stupid enough to come back to me, right? Those fucking pogues set you up?”

“Rafe,” you whispered, tears pricking your eyes as you gripped his wrist. “Please…just let me go.”

The tears slipped down your cheeks, and you felt his chest rise sharply against yours.

“Look at you,” Rafe muttered, his voice low and almost… awed. “Such a pretty bitch when you cry.”

You shuddered, a broken sob leaving your lips as his knife traced the dip of your collarbone.

“Rafe…”

“Shh,” he murmured, the sound almost tender. “You don’t wanna say something you’ll regret.”

You forced yourself to meet his eyes, your breath coming in shaky gasps as tears streamed down your face. “What… do you want from me?”

Rafe’s smile widened, something twisted and triumphant lighting up his face. “What I want? You’re coming with me.”

You froze, his words hitting you like ice. “What?”

Rafe stepped back just enough to grab your wrist, tugging you forward as you stumbled to keep up. “You really think I’m letting you run back to your little Pogue friends? Nah. You’re done, Y/N. We have unfinished business.”

“Rafe—no the hell I’m not. What are yo-”

“Save it,” he snapped, dragging you toward his truck as you tried to fight him off. “You brought this on yourself. You wanted my attention, right? Well, you’ve got it.”

You thrashed against his grip, tears streaming down your face. “Rafe, please—let me go! I’ll leave! I won’t come back!”

Rafe shoved you against the passenger door, leaning in close, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “You’re not leaving, Y/N. You should’ve stayed off figure 8, Pogue.”

The finality in his tone made your stomach drop, and for the first time, you realized the truth.

You weren’t getting out of this.

Not this time.

———

The air inside the truck was suffocating-thick with sweat and heat and the overwhelming scent of him. Your back arched against the worn leather of the backseat, your hands clawing uselessly at his shoulders as Rafe moved above you, relentless as he fucked the shit out of you.

Every sound you made-every gasp, every choked-back moan-felt like a betrayal. You hated yourself for it. For the way your body responded to him despite everything.

Despite the smirk that stretched across his face, the glint in his pale blue eyes that said he'd won.

"Look at you," Rafe muttered darkly, his voice heavy with satisfaction. His hand slid down to your thigh, his grip rough, forcing your legs wider as he pressed you deeper into the seat. "Acting like you hate this…like you hate my dick."

"I do," you gasped, even as your voice cracked, even as your body said otherwise.

Rafe's laugh was low, cruel, vibrating through you as he ducked his head to press his pink lips against your neck. His teeth scraped against your brown skin, making you shudder, and when he pulled back, his expression was all sharp lines and wicked intent.

"You can lie to yourself, Y/N," he said, gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him. "But you don't get to lie to me."

You glared at him, your chest heaving, your nails digging into his arms. "Fuck you."

Rafe grinned, leaning closer until his lips brushed your ear. "You are."

You opened your mouth to snap back at him, but the words turned into a sharp cry as Rafe's hand shot up, tangling in your hair. He yanked your head back, not enough to hurt— but enough to remind you of exactly who was in control as he drove himself deeper and deeper into you.

"Say something now," Rafe growled, his voice low and smug as he pushed himself deeper.

"Come on, sweetheart. I thought you had something to say?"

Your nails clawed uselessly at his arms, your body arching against the seat as he hit something deep inside you that made your thoughts scatter. Your jaw clenched, your breaths coming in sharp gasps as you fought to hold onto your anger, your defiance, anything to ground you.

But all you could focus on was him.

The way he filled you-so deep it felt like he was tearing you apart and putting you back together all at once. The way his body towered over yours, his pale skin pressed against the deep brown of your thighs, the contrast making everything feel more raw, more intense.

His dick is too damn big.

The thought came unbidden, unrelenting as your body clenched around him, your mind spinning from the overwhelming pressure and stretch. How the hell is this motherfucker even fitting?

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath, your nails biting harder into his skin as you tried to stop the heat pooling in your stomach from taking over.

"What's that?" Rafe taunted, his grin widening as he rolled his hips, making you gasp. "Didn't quite catch that, baby. You moaning for me already?"

"Shut the hell up," you hissed, though your voice cracked as the pleasure twisted tighter.

Rafe laughed, his grip tightening in your black hair as he tugged your head back further, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Nah, I don't think I will. Not when you're squeezing me like that. You like it, don't you? Feel how deep I am?"

You glared at him, fresh tears pricking your eyes as your lip trembled. "You're a piece of shit. I hate your ass."

Rafe's smirk widened, his teeth flashing like a predator's as his hips snapped forward, deliberate and rough. "Hate me all you want," he sneered, his voice dripping with cruelty.

"Doesn't change the fact that you're fucking taking it like a good little Pogue slut."

"You're disgusting," you snapped, though your voice wavered, your breath hitching with every thrust.

"Yeah? And you're pathetic," he shot back, his tone cruel as his hand slid down to your waist, gripping tight enough to bruise. "Talking all this shit while you're pushing back on me like you're fucking starving for it."

Your stomach churned, humiliation and heat flooding your chest as your body betrayed you again. Your hips shifted, just slightly, the pressure too much to fight.

"There it is," Rafe muttered, his eyes darkening as he felt you give in. His grip tightened, guiding you against him as his smirk turned wicked. "Look at that recoil. God…you fucking bitch, shit." He gritted the last part and gives your ass a hard slap, making you whimper.

His hand moved to your thigh, pulling your legs wider as he forced you to meet his rhythm. "Say you hate me again," he growled, leaning closer, his nose brushing yours. "Say it while you're bouncing on my dick like you don't want me to stop."

Your lips trembled, every sharp, degrading word tearing at what little resolve you had left. You hated him. You hated the way he owned you, the way his grip burned against your dark skin.

"Fucking say it," Rafe demanded, his voice a growl as his grip on your waist tightened, forcing you to push back against him. "Say you hate me while you're begging me to keep going."

Your acrylic nails dug into his arms, fresh tears streaming as you tried to stifle the sob threatening to escape. "I-I hate you."

Rafe chuckled darkly, his breath hot against your ear. "Yeah, well, your pussy doesn't." He pulled back just enough to watch your face, his smirk deepening as you arched beneath him. "Look at you. Can't even stop yourself from pushing back. Fucking whore."

You bit down on your lip, the humiliation twisting with the heat building in your stomach. You hated him. You hated yourself.

But you couldn't stop.

Rafe's hand slid to your jaw, forcing your tear-streaked face up to meet his. "There it is," he muttered, his tone softer but no less cruel. "Good fucking Pogue. Taking me just like you're supposed to."

And as you finally broke beneath him, your body trembling and tears spilling freely, Rafe's smirk widened, victorious and unrelenting.

"Speak ," Rafe hissed, his face inches from yours. "Say you want me."

You shook your head weakly, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to fight him, to fight yourself. "I-I don't..."

"Bullshit."

His grip on your hair tightened, and your eyes squeezed shut, your body betraying you all over again. You hated him-hated his smug face, his cruel words, the way he made you feel like you were his plaything. But the worst part?

You didn't hate this. As much as you said you did.

"Say it," Rafe growled, his voice dropping lower. "Say you want me, or I'll stop."

You bit down on your lip so hard it hurt, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. He wouldn't let you get away with silence-he never did.

"Rafe-"

"Say it," he repeated, pulling just hard enough on your hair to send a shiver down your spine. "Be a good girl for once."

Your voice trembled, barely above a whisper. "I... I want you."

"What was that?" Rafe taunted, tilting his head as if he hadn't heard you. "Say it again. Louder."

You opened your eyes, glaring up at him through the tears you refused to let fall. "I want you."

The words tasted bitter on your tongue, but Rafe's reaction was immediate. His grin stretched wider, his teeth flashing in the dim light as his hand loosened in your hair, smoothing down to rest at your jaw. His thumb dragged across your bottom lip, almost gentle.

"That's what I thought," he muttered, his voice thick with triumph. "Took you long enough."

You turned your head away, biting back the sob that threatened to break free.

Rafe didn't let you escape. He grabbed your chin again, forcing you to meet his gaze as he leaned in close. "You're mine now, Y/N. You get that, right?"

You didn't answer. You couldn't.

Rafe smirked, his eyes dragging slowly over your tear-streaked face, down to the dark skin of your chest where his touch still lingered. "I fucking hate Pogues," he murmured, almost to himself. "But you? You're my exception."

And the way he said it-soft and dangerous, like a promise you'd never escape-made your stomach twist in something you couldn’t name.

You hated him.

And you hated yourself even more.

——

The backseat of Rafe's truck was a battlefield-your resolve crumbling and Rafe's triumph curling around you like smoke, choking out every last ounce of resistance.

Your body was a mess of heat and sweat, pinned under the weight of him, his grip unrelenting as he dragged you further under.

"Don't stop now, sweetheart," Rafe murmured, his voice a gravelly mix of amusement and cruelty. His lips grazed your ear, every word deliberate, every breath making you shiver. "You've come this far. You're not tapping out on me yet, are you?"

You bit your lip, trying to ignore him, to ignore the way your body betrayed you with every movement, every burning pulse of pleasure he forced out of you.

Rafe noticed. Of course he did.

"You're quiet all of a sudden," he taunted, his tone mocking as his hand slid up your thigh.

"That's cute. What? Cat got your tongue? Or are you just embarrassed? Bet your little Pogue friends wouldn't believe it if they saw you right now-dripping all over my dick, letting me do whatever I want to this pretty little pussy."

"Shut up," you whispered, a broken edge to your voice, hating the way his words twisted something sharp and hot in your chest.

Rafe chuckled darkly, his hand moving to tangle in your hair, tugging hard enough to make you gasp. "Nah, I don't think I will. Not until you say it. Admit how good I'm making you feel. Tell me how much you like this."

You shook your head weakly, tears stinging your eyes as you tried to turn away. "I don't _"

The shrill ring of your phone cut you off.

You froze, the sound slicing through the thick air like a warning shot. Rafe didn't stop. If anything, his grip on you tightened, his smirk widening as his gaze flicked to your bag. He reached over, grabbing the phone with deliberate ease before holding it up to your face.

Kiara.

"Look who it is," Rafe drawled, his grin dark and knowing. "Your little rescue team, huh? Probably wondering where you're at. Should I tell her?"

"Rafe-please, don't," you choked out, panic creeping into your voice as you tried to grab the phone.

He yanked it out of reach, his other hand tugging your head back to force you to look at him. His face was too close, his blue eyes gleaming with something cruel and unhinged.

"You wanna beg now, huh?" he muttered, pressing the phone against your cheek, his thumb swiping over the screen. "Go on. Answer it. Tell her how you're too busy getting fucked to come back."

Your stomach dropped. "I can't-"

Rafe leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, "Answer.The.Fucking.Phone. NOW."

The phone clicked, and Kiara's voice rang out loud and clear. "Y/N? What the hell is taking so long? Where are you?"

You squeezed your eyes shut, tears spilling down your cheeks as you tried to steady your voice. "Kie... I-I'm fine."

"Fine? You don't sound fine. Where are you? Did something happen?"

Your lips trembled as you felt Rafe move against you, his hand sliding back to your thigh, his grip firm and possessive. He pressed a kiss to your temple, mockingly soft, before murmuring into your ear, "Say it, or I'll say it for you."

"I'm fine," you said quickly, your voice breaking as you forced the words out. "I got—distracted. I'll catch up with you later."

"Distracted? What are you talking about? You don't sound-"

"I gotta go," you cut her off, your voice shaking as Rafe pulled the phone from your ear.

The line went dead.

You let out a shaky breath, your whole body trembling as you looked up at Rafe. His expression was pure smug satisfaction, his lips pulling into that wicked smirk that made your chest tighten.

"See?" he muttered, tossing the phone onto the floorboard. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're a fucking monster," you whispered, tears streaming down your face as you pushed at his chest weakly.

Rafe laughed, low and taunting, as he grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head. "You say that now, but I don't think your pussy got the memo. You're squeezing me so tight right now-what do you think that means, huh?"

"Stop-"

"No, you stop," Rafe snapped, his voice darkening as he leaned in closer, his face hovering just above yours. "You wanna play the victim, act like you hate this, but I know the truth. You fucking love it.“

You couldn’t even argue with him. Not when he was abusing your g spot the way he was.

The backseat of Rafe's truck had turned into a world of its own-hot, suffocating, and inescapable. The windows dripped condensation, a cage of sweat and shadows that blurred the outside world into nothing. It was just you and him, and every second passed like a fever you couldn't break.

Rafe hadn't let up-not with his words, not with his hands. He was relentless, pressing you deeper into the leather, dragging every ounce of fight you had left out of you. Every time you thought you could pull yourself back together, he shattered you all over again.

"You're not even trying to fight me anymore," Rafe murmured, his voice low and taunting as he stared down at you. The blue of his eyes looked almost silver in the faint light, glinting with satisfaction as they dragged over your tear-streaked face. "That's sweet. Guess you finally figured it out."

Your chest heaved with shaky breaths, your body trembling beneath him as you turned your head away. "I hate you," you whispered weakly, the words barely audible.

Rafe grabbed your chin, his fingers digging in just enough to make you look at him. "Yeah?" he taunted, his grin wicked. "You love repeating yourself, huh?. Go on. Keep telling me how much you hate me while you're laying here, dripping all over my seat like a desperate little Pogue slut.”

You clenched your jaw, the tears pooling in your eyes making it hard to see him clearly.

"I... I hate you."

Rafe's expression didn't change. If anything, his smirk deepened, like he was enjoying every second of your misery. "Nah," he said softly, shaking his head as his thumb brushed across your lip. "That's not what I wanna hear."

"Rafe, please.." you choked out, your voice breaking.

"Please what?" he taunted, his tone dripping with mockery. "You want me to stop? Want me to let you go so you can run back to those broke-ass Pogues? Fuck that." He leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, "Tell me what you really want."

Your heart sank, every word tightening around your throat like a noose. "Don’t…Don’t stop," you whispered.

Rafe grinned, his hand slipping to rest at your jaw, his grip firm but not cruel. "That's better," he murmured, tilting your head back so you couldn't look away. "Say it again. Louder."

Your lip trembled as the words slipped from your mouth like poison. "Don’t stop, Rafe…please."

"Good girl," Rafe muttered, his thumb tracing along the tear-streaked curve of your cheek.

"See how easy that was? You can listen when you want to."

You closed your eyes, fresh tears spilling down your face, but Rafe wasn't done. His grip tightened slightly, a warning, as his voice dipped lower. "You know what else I wanna hear?"

You nodded your head submissively. "Please... tell me, Rafe.”

He smirks at your obedience before speaking, his tone firm and commanding. "Say you'd choose me over them. Over your little Pogue friends. Say it, Y/N."

Your eyes snapped open, horror twisting in your chest as you stared up at him. "No."

Rafe tilted his head, his smirk cold and sharp.

"No?" He chuckled softly, his grip never wavering as his free hand trailed down your side, slow and deliberate. "You don't get to say no. Not anymore. Say it."

You swallowed hard, the words catching in your throat as you tried to pull back-tried to escape the weight of him, the weight of his words. "I-I don’t wanna."

"I didn’t fucking ask if you wanted to." Rafe growled, his face inches from yours. "You're mine now. Not theirs. Mine. Say it."

You shook your head weakly, tears streaming freely now as your chest heaved. "I-l'd choose you."

Rafe froze, his gaze locking onto yours, something wild and triumphant sparking in his eyes. "What was that?"

You squeezed your eyes shut, your voice breaking as you repeated the words he wanted. "I'd choose you over them."

"Look at me when you say it."

You blinked up at him, the tears blurring his face as you choked out the words again. "I'd choose you over them, Rafe."

His grin stretched wider, his expression dark and smug as he brushed his lips against your ear.

"Damn right you would," he murmured, his voice soft but venomous. "They don't deserve you. They never did. I'm the only one who sees you for what you are."

You didn't respond. How could you? The fight had drained from your body completely, leaving you trembling and broken beneath him as he watched you with the same victorious gleam in his blue eyes.

But Rafe wasn't done.

"Open your mouth," he ordered, his tone low but firm, his grip tightening on your jaw.

Your stomach twisted, fresh tears spilling as you stared up at him, wide-eyed and uncertain.

"Rafe, why-"

"Do it," he snapped, his voice sharper now, his smirk twisting into something darker. "Don't make me ask again, Pogue."

Your lip trembled, your body shaking as you parted your lips hesitantly, the humiliation burning through you like fire.

"That's my girl," Rafe muttered, his eyes locked onto yours, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip before he leaned forward. Without hesitation, he spit into your mouth, the action deliberate, possessive, and utterly degrading.

"Swallow that shit," Rafe commanded, his tone calm but laced with authority. "Don't even think about spitting it out."

Your throat tightened, the shame twisting in your chest as you obeyed, swallowing under his watchful gaze.

"That's it," he murmured, his grin widening as he cupped your cheek, his pale fingers brushing against your tear-streaked skin.

"Good fucking girl. That's why you're mine. Because no one else could handle you like this."

His thumb dragged across your lips, smearing the wetness there as he tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze again.

"Say it one more time," he whispered, his voice soft but no less commanding. "Say you'd choose me over them."

You choked back a sob, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. "I'd choose you over them."

"Good girl," Rafe whispered, his voice almost tender as he pressed a kiss to your jaw. "I knew you'd come around eventually. You just needed me to remind you where you belong."

He pulled back just slightly, his gaze lingering on your tear-streaked face as he dragged his thumb across your bottom lip. "Bet you'd let me knock you up, wouldn't you?" Rafe murmured, his voice almost soft, his smirk curling into something sinister. "Let me put a fucking Kook baby in you. Make you mine for real."

Your stomach flipped, your heart pounding in your chest as you stared up at him in disbelief. "You're sick," you whispered, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks.

Rafe chuckled darkly, his thumb dragging along your jaw as his pale fingers stood out against your dark skin. "Yeah, well so are you. Ditching your friends and begging for my dick." He leaned closer, his lips brushing yours as he whispered, "What kinda girl does that make you, huh?"

You were quiet and couldn’t even respond…how could you. He was right. You begged him not to stop and even now you wanted him to keep sliding his dick in you.

Rafe's smirk widened as your silence stretched. "I asked you a fucking question," he growled, his hand suddenly tightening around your throat. The pressure made you gasp, your back arching against the seat as he leaned closer, his breath hot against your lips. "What kinda girl does that make you?"

You shook your head weakly, the tears spilling faster now as your chest heaved.

"Rafe, what do you want-"

"Don't fucking 'question' me," he snapped, his grip tightening further, sending a dizzying rush through your body. His other hand slid down to grab your hip, pulling you closer as he sneered, "Say it. Say what you are, baby. You're my little whore, aren't you? My dirty Pogue bitch who can't get enough."

A broken sob escaped you, and his grin only grew as he tilted your head back, his lips brushing against your ear.

“Tell me who you belong to.”

Your breath hitched, your voice barely above a whisper as the words slipped past your lips, tasting like poison and fire. "I'm... I'm yours."

"Yeah, you fucking are," Rafe muttered, his tone softening just slightly as he released your throat, dragging his hand back to your clit, playing with it as he continues to thrust into you, deep.

Your chest heaved, your body trembling as you felt yourself tipping over the edge, that coil of tension snapping inside you as you come around his dick. You gasp sharply, your head falling back against the seat as your body arched into his.

"Ah shit," Rafe grunted with a deep sigh, his voice dark and triumphant as his hand slid up your brown thigh, his fingers digging into your soft skin.

"That's my good girl. You're so fucking perfect when you cum for me."

You whimpered, tears spilling freely now, your mind fogged and overwhelmed. But Rafe didn't stop. He wasn't done with you yet.

"Look at me," he ordered, his tone commanding as he grabbed your jaw, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. His blue eyes burned into your brown ones, the smug smirk on his lips twisting into something darker. "You think I'm letting you off that easy. You're gonna give me one more."

"Rafe-" you choked out, your voice trembling.

"Don't fucking fight me," he snapped, his grip tightening. "You've got one more in you, baby. I know you do. And you're gonna give it to me."

Your body trembled, your head spinning as he pushed you further, relentless in his thrusts.

Every nerve was on fire, every sound that escaped your lips ripped from your chest against your will.

"That's it," Rafe murmured, his voice dropping to a low, possessive growl. "Give me one more baby…just one more around my dick."

The words hit you like a punch, and you shattered, the wave crashing over you so hard it left you breathless. Rafe followed you down, his grip tightening as his own body tensed, his head falling into the crook of your neck as a low, guttural sound escaped his lips as he got closer.

Rafe didn't stop. He followed you through it, his strokes still sharp and relentless, his grip firm as he kept you exactly where he wanted you. His breath was ragged, a low, guttural sound escaping his lips as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

For a moment, everything stilled. The truck rocked gently beneath you, the windows fogged, the world outside feeling a million miles away. His weight pressed into you, heavy and grounding, his chest heaving against yours.

You should have been angry. Humiliated. But instead, the words left your lips before you could stop them.

"Rafe... cum in me."

His head snapped up, his eyes narrowing as he pulled back just enough to look at you.

The smirk that spread across his face was sharp and wicked, his tone laced with mockery as he chuckled. "Oh, you think you're calling the shots now?"

"Please..." you whispered, your voice trembling as fresh tears slid down your cheeks.

Rafe leaned closer, his nose brushing against yours as he sneered. "What makes you think you've earned that, huh? After pulling that little stunt on my boat? You think you can tell me what to do?"

You shook your head weakly, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. "I'm sorry-"

"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it," he growled, his grip on your hips tightening as he moved again, pulling a sharp gasp from your lips. "You wanna tell me what to do? No, I tell you what to do."

You whimpered, your hands gripping at his shoulders as your body trembled beneath him. "Rafe... please. I'll do anything."

"Anything?" His voice dipped into something darker, more dangerous, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear. "You'll cry for it, baby. You'll fucking beg for it, or you're not getting shit."

You bit down on your lip, the tears spilling faster now as your chest heaved. "Please," you choked out, your voice breaking.

"Please, Rafe. I need it. I need you."

"Louder," he demanded, his hand moving to grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Let me hear you fucking mean it."

Your voice cracked as you sobbed, the words spilling from your lips like a prayer. "Please, Rafe! I need you to cum in me! I'm yours-I'll do whatever you want! Just... please."

His grin widened, satisfaction gleaming in his pale blue eyes as he tilted your chin up, pressing a slow, mocking kiss to your lips.

"That's my good girl," he murmured, his tone dripping with triumph.

And when he finally came in you, letting himself unravel against you, the low, guttural sound that escaped him sent a shiver through your entire body. His weight collapsed onto you once more, his breath hot against your neck as he pressed his forehead to yours, a lazy, smug grin still plastered across his face.

Then Rafe tilted his head, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "You're never leaving me now, Y/N. Not after this."

You didn't respond. You couldn't. Because deep down, you knew he was right.

And that terrified you.

The haze came quickly after that, swallowing you whole. The heat, the sweat, the steady weight of him pressed against your trembling body-all of it felt distant and surreal. You weren't sure how long you lay there, pinned beneath him, his blue eyes watching you like you were a puzzle he'd just solved.

Then his hand came up, quick and light, delivering a playful slap to your cheek. Not enough to hurt, but enough to snap your attention back to him.

"Hey," Rafe muttered, his smirk twisting into something sharper, darker. "Don't drift off on me. You're not getting out of this until you say it."

You blinked up at him, your breath shaky as the fog clouding your thoughts started to lift. "Say... what?"

Rafe's hand slid to your jaw, gripping you firmly as he tilted your head back, his lips brushing over yours in a way that felt both possessive and mocking. "Say you're sorry for what you did. For pushing me off my fucking boat."

Your lips parted, your chest heaving as his thumb dragged across your bottom lip, leaving you trembling beneath him. "Rafe, are you serious-"

"Say it," he interrupted, his voice sharp but calm, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Apologize, and maybe I'll go easy on you."

A tear slipped down your cheek as the words caught in your throat. You hated him. You hated the way he owned you, the way he twisted you into knots with nothing but his voice, his touch. But the fight had been drained from your body completely, leaving you with no choice but to obey.

"I'm sorry." you whispered, your voice cracking as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

Rafe's grin widened, his thumb brushing along your jaw as he leaned closer, his breath warm against your lips. "Louder."

Your body trembled, the shame burning hot in your chest as you repeated the words, louder this time. "I'm sorry for pushing you off your boat."

"Good girl," Kate murmured, his tone laced with triumph as his lips crashed against yours. The kiss was messy, desperate, full of teeth and heat, and you felt yourself slipping further into the haze. His hand tangled in your hair, tugging just enough to make you gasp as his tongue claimed yours.

It wasn't sweet. It wasn't gentle. But it was addictive.

He pulled back just slightly, his pale blue eyes watching your swollen lips, the tear streaks on your face. "You feel that?" he muttered, his voice low and mocking as his hand cupped your cheek. "That's mine now. All of it. Every fucking piece of you."

You didn't argue. You still couldn't.

"Open your mouth," he ordered, his tone soft but firm, his smirk curling as his thumb tapped your bottom lip.

Your lips parted instinctively, and the haze grew thicker as he spit into your mouth again, the deliberate action pulling a low whimper from you.

Rafe's grin deepened, his eyes gleaming with something wicked as he leaned forward and whispered, “Ready for round 2?”

You paused for a second to see if he was serious and when you saw that he in fact wasn’t joking, your rolled eyes.

You were never trusting Kiara, Cleo, or Sarah again. Not that you’d get the chance to since you belonged to Rafe now.

You were his. Not theirs.

#drew starkey #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #outer banks #rafe cameron x black!reader #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey smut #quenlin blackwell #black reader

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whereispearlescentmoon · 8 days ago

Text

While I don’t generally subscribe to the idea that only winners get to remember the games, I can’t stop thinking about a Pearl who remembers Double Life going back to Hermitcraft and just… not being able to believe her friends when they say they love her anymore. And no one but Grian knows why. She trusts Scar and Grian and Tango, they treated her with kindness, but with everyone else who was in DL, there’s a sense of unease. They do not love her unconditionally, she knows that now. She’s more closed off from the rest of the Hermits than she was even when she joined on Season 8. And none of them know why.

It’s especially bad with Ren. Grian advises her that no one else remembers the games, but she can’t help but feel even more anger and resentment towards the whole King Ren thing than before. He’s not just the guy who’s forcing them all to do quests for worthless currency, or the guy putting up massive decrees that she vandalizes, he’s the guy who blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault, and then called her a demon with evil in her heart who causes death wherever she goes. And he doesn’t remember doing it. When they defeat him, she takes an extra moment to sneer at his severed head before handing to Gem for her dungeon.

It takes her weeks to look Cleo in the eye again. Cleo who was her tentative friend in Last Life, who hated her in Double Life, who called her unhinged and a crazy ex and asked if she was alright in a tone somewhere between fear and concern. Pearl pulls her for secret Santa and Cleo laughs at her gift and says she loves Pearl for it, and Pearl laughs too, not saying that she knows exactly how far Cleo can be pushed before she doesn’t love her anymore. But Cleo can tell she’s closed off. Cleo is confused by this, her and Pearl aren’t particularly close but she’s never wronged her before has she? She runs through all the interactions they’ve had on Hermitcraft and can’t find anywhere that may have caused Pearl to pull away.

Impulse is complicated. He never directly harmed her, but he had called her crazy. And he had killed her Tilly, her poor poor Tilly who she still wakes up reaching for even when more time has passed out of the game than she spent in it. Impulse is her neighbor and one of her best friends. Impulse calls Soup Group meetings and says Pearl and Gem are his best friends and that he loves them and Pearl struggles to believe him even when she knows that it’s still true to him. She knows he is capable of holding great hatred for her. Pearl may have won the fight but she still knows the feeling of Impulse’s sword cutting into her skin, his voice reminding her that’s she’s alone.

And then Scar wins Secret Life and he remembers. And that’s alright with Pearl because him and Grian had been kind to her. Scar actually apologizes to her for burning down the frogs on her and BigB’s tower and she had never realized how much she wanted someone to apologize to her before that. But it’s the wrong game. She hasn’t cared as much about what people had done in this one. Scar hadn’t ever hurt her the way others had. Pearl thanks him but says it’s not necessary. She says she’s sorry for the whole blowing the terrain up thing. They all do things they regret in the games.

And then Cleo wins Reals Life and that’s a whole other can of worms because of all the people who Pearl didn’t want to remember the games, the person who she keeps killing would be number one. Cleo doesn’t seem as affected by it as Pearl, though. But there’s an edge to her now that wasn’t there before. A genuine distress behind the thick layer of sarcasm. She clings to Scar initially, and Pearl understands. She wishes she had BigB or that any of her Mounders remembered. She has Grian and Scar, but they were late additions to the Nosey Neighbors and Mounders respectively. It’s not the same. She’s glad Cleo gets to have her Clocker back.

It takes a few weeks, but Cleo apologizes to Pearl for what she did in Double Life. She says she doesn’t know what was wrong with her, that they didn’t believe anything they said, it just felt right to say it in the moment. It’s not an excuse they say, and they’re so sorry. They had been avoiding Pearl because they felt bad and they felt hurt by everything.

It’s everything Pearl has ever wanted to hear and it hurts more to hear it than anything else. She doesn’t want this apology two years later. She’s moved on (no she hasn’t). But Pearl thanks her for it, and gives an apology in turn. She says she’s sorry for leaving for the nether in Double Life (she isn’t, but she should still say it), sorry that they always end up betraying each other, sorry that she keeps killing her. She says she loves Cleo and wants them to get along and Cleo agrees. They both promise to stand by each other in the next game, and they do.

And then Joel wins Wild Life and he remembers and Pearl doesn’t know what to do with their history. Does she say she’s sorry for the way she killed him in Last Life? Does she try to explain that she was going to return his chest plate in Double Life before he killed her? Does she avoid him, let him cool off from their rivalry in Wild Life? But instead the conversation they have is mostly about Secret Life, oddly enough. She goes to him and he tackles her in a hug. He thanks her, and she’s taken aback, but he remembers how much she had wanted him to get to the end in Secret Life. Mounders for life, right? Pearl has forgotten that even though the games cause great pain, there are moments of great joy for her too.

She thinks, maybe, that if people’s first instinct when they remember is to apologize, is to thank her, is to love her, then maybe Double Life isn’t a sign that they don’t actually want her. Maybe it’s just a sign that the games suck.

#rambling #fic #pearlescentmoon #life series #double life smp #secret life smp #wild life smp

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ooooo-mcyt · 4 months ago

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I'm sure I've said this before but Grian has never betrayed anyone.

He was Scar's teammate until the Cactus Ring and that was a fair fight they both agreed to the terms of.

He killed Jimmy and Mumbo in Last Life but that was AFTER the Southlands pretty much disbanded and they attacked him first so clearly they weren't still teamed.

He stayed with Scar through all of Double Life too, and him accidentally getting himself killed isn't a 'betrayal' of his partner. You could say he betrayed Bigb but I don't think he intentionally thought through killing Bigb as you can see from how awful he feels about it.

He outlived Jimmy and Joel in Limited Life while being their teammate the entire time, he didn't betray them, he wasn't the one who killed them.

He stuck with Cleo and Etho the same way in Secret Life, he happened to outlive them, but he didn't kill or betray them.

Grian's not a traitor, he's never betrayed a long term teammate. He's also not a "team killer", the only one he intentionally killed while teamed with was Scar in the cactus ring.

Sure, Grian does have a habit of outliving everyone he loves. Sometimes he kills them because he has to, sometimes the team falls apart, sometimes they just die.

But Grian doesn't kill his teammates half as often as people suggest, and he certainly doesn't make a habit of betraying them.

#trafficblr #grian #traffic smp #it's a traffic jam

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yourlazykitkat · 16 days ago

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Joel's celestial symbol being a car isn't complete crack and actually might be a good idea.

In Fast and Furious franchise, one of movies' climax have the characters strap jetpacks to a car which is strapped to a military aircraft in which two characters drive off and are sent into orbit. Yes this is thing that happens and yes, it somehow does perfectly capture the narrative of joel's victory and what it brings to the celestial symbolism.

I have never watched the fast and furious movies, all i know about this franchise is this scene and that it's about family and that's all you really need to know. But still, i shall yap.

The Fast and Furious movies are a perfect intertextual lens to view the Wild Life season and Joel's victory. The franchise has two highlights to it: the fucking spectacle and the interpersonal relationships. Did I enjoy the mechanics of wild life? Not particularly but I enjoyed the spectacle; the rush of I don't know what the fuck is going on but I'm here for the ride. Did I enjoy the storylines? There won't many clear and strong storylines this season as much as there were ever-resonating character beats that I ate up like it was the last supper. (JUST LIKE IN FAST AND FURIOUS)

Pearl and Scott reluctant allies and healing, BigB and Cleo healing, Etho's slut arc, Bamboozlers overcoming their character's persistent struggle with loneliness together, whatever the fuck treebark is doing, pearl picking her champion in impulse, grian losing his two wings. DESERT DUO DIVORCE ARC IS OVER? OMG DESERT DUO DIVORCE ARC IS BACK ON. Bad boys finally kill scott, shinyduo situtionship (going insane over them- i can't wait for more of them), tango and bdubz as angry wives and of course: The family.

Gem and Joel's alliance was the most stable alliance in the season. We made jokes about the 4Gs as they became the 5,6-7 Gs. They never knew who they truly could trust. Mumbo and skizz' paranoia might of been a joke but grian's curse did wipe them out in the end, martynn has forever ruined any trust in future alliances after limited life (especially given how he planned to betray ren in third life...) so i did not have any faith in treebark lasting. I don't need to explain tuff boys, etho was cheating on them to their faces and bamboozlers came close but any bamboozler fan will tell you how anxious they were that something would ruin a group. Look at Timmy on the high that he could finally win and break the curse, always running off carelessly. Scar, who was so desperate to win grian's favour that he was spilt between him and bamboozlers. Lizzie, who wanted to do anything but die alone but multiple times in the series, could not find her boys.

But gem and joel were always there for each other, their trust and love in the each other displayed for the whole server to see in the centre of the map (the most dangerous part). Not only did it help each other, they solidified so many other alliances that were shaky for so long (adopting grian when he's alone coz no one deserves to be alone, giving the Gs a common enemy to unite against, "we are bamily"). This perfectly encapsulates the fast and furious thematic core, we have no idea what' going on but we'll make our last stand together.

Very long-winded post, might come back later to fix it (i haven't had the chance to explore joel specifically and what this victory means for him) but even though it ruins the celestial aesthetic, the car for joel is so perfect. If u need it all celestial, the shooting star works pretty well in adjacent but it's so perfect for the wildest, most scuffed season to ruin the aesthetic of the life series BUT STILL BE THEMATICALLY COHERENT.

I have my complaints for this season and it did take me a while to decide how i wanted to approach the narrative of this season. Genuinely the more i think about it, the more i love the season.

#tldr joel's car symbol is so much deeper because it acts as the perfect intertextual allusion to his journey #AND iT WAS HALF AN ACCIDENT #I CANT BELIEVE IM CITING FUCKING FAST AND FURIOUS #DONT EVEN GET MY STARTED ON THE SYMBOLOGY OF THE CAR #wild life spoilers #wild life #wild life smp #trafficblr #life smo #life series #traffic smp #wild life analysis #smallishbeans #joel smallishbeans #grian #geminitay #long post

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goingdownorup · 4 months ago

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Thinking about limited life again.

It made sense Etho went with TIES.

Etho went with TIES because he’s comfortable with the three of them. Because even though Bdubs was there when Scar asked if Etho could be their dad, Etho wasn’t comfortable enough with Scar and Cleo to even attempt…whatever they were trying to do with him at first. He had been with Tango and Skizz once before, and Impulse and him worked really close together the previous game, even if it was mainly for Etho and Bdubs benefit. It was based around being comfortable with each other.

All three of them knew Etho’s flaws. All three of them were well aware of Etho’s bias to Bdubs, and honestly, used it to their advantage. All three of them knew how to work around that, how to plot under Etho’s nose and sometimes even in front of him if it meant Etho could keep plausible deniability. They knew his strengths too, his loyalty, his mind. His mob farm was probably the biggest supplier of gunpowder that season, for everyone. The flaws and strengths didn’t matter as much as the fact that Tango, Skizz, and Impulse all wanted him on the team, and that the team never felt like it was fracturing. It wasn’t two and two like BEST was, it was four strong from the beginning. It was comfortable, because all three of them wanted Etho there. Not just Bdubs, not just Scar for a bit, SIT was prepared to do what it took for Etho to commit to their team up.

And maybe, that’s why it hurts so much that they had Etho take the final kill for Skizz.

They had built a comfortable place for Etho and now they were asking him to destroy that. Etho could go back to TIES tower and be greeted by people he KNEW were friends and allies. These guys would never betray Etho, just like he would never betray them. All three of them had the same kind of loyalty that Etho has, self-destructive in the name of character. Etho had just been hunted and hunting his own family down for time, getting knocked down time and time again and had finally come back to his home with his tail between his legs. He was panicked, more panicked than normal with his clock ticking down at the corner of his screen, he was walking into a scene half done and taking it over with a frustrated cry, which isn’t something Etho usually does.

But he did, because he felt comfortable doing so.

And then Skizz throws him the ax, Tango acts like someone shot his dog, and Impulse just stares.

And suddenly, it's not comfortable anymore.

It’s not comfortable that Impulse is one step away from dissociating. It’s not comfortable that Tango has tears trailing down his face, that both of them look almost angry that Etho picked up the ax in the first place. It’s horribly jarring, to come into a meeting expecting comfort for his failures and be greeted with a worse opportunity.

Because Skizz- the nicest guy in this match, the man who looked at Etho and said “i want him to join us”- is telling Etho to kill him. Ordering him to, actually, his final order of the game. No amount of pleading looks will get Tango and Impulse to do what Skizz wants done, Etho’s only defense is quickly shut down when they bring up just how much time Etho still had.

It’s not comfortable to see Skizz’s head roll off the edge of skynet. It’s not comfortable, the next session, when Impulse and Tango look to him for leadership. This game wasn’t meant to be comfortable, and Etho forgot about that. TIES was the most comfortable team up for him, and in the end, it created one of the most heart wrenching ends for all of them.

#the comparison of comfort to a feeling of home is something I can’t get out of my head #something something etho wanting comfort and familiarity so bad he starts talking to ghosts #idk man I just love TIES so much #limited life #ethoslab #impulsesv #skizzleman #tango tek #life series smp #team ties

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miazetomer · 2 months ago

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Heartless | Rafe Cameron x pogue(ish)!fem!reader (Part VII)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, fluff, smut, alcohol use, drug use, mention of abortion, takes place during season four, the usual

Summary: You were back on Kildare after two years. You were able to finish your business degree at UNC Chapel Hill in just two years after earning enough college credits in high school. But, you came back as a force to be reckoned with. You had your own very successful development company which just so happened to be Cameron Development’s newest competition. Two years later and you’re still finding ways to get under Rafe’s skin.

prev next

♡♡♡

You stepped off your family’s private jet at the Kildare airport. The strong smell of salt and sea water hitting you like a train. The last time you were at this airport you saw your then-boyfriend, Rafe Cameron, kill Sheriff Peterkin.

Two years earlier…

“What did you do Rafe?” You said breathlessly as you ran into the Cameron estate.

“I-I had to, baby, you saw what was happening. She was gonna get my dad.” Rafe said, pacing around. He looked crazy. You always knew there was something different about your boyfriend, but you didn’t think he was capable of murder. “I-I needed to save my dad.”

That was the last time you saw him. After that, you stayed in The Cut, didn’t go anywhere you knew where he would be, you stopped helping John B and JJ with the hunt for the gold, you basically became a recluse until you left for school.

Everyone had kept you up to date on their adventures. You even let them stay at your family’s house in Barbados when they needed some place to stay.

After settling in at your mom’s house, you quickly made the drive to the newly established Poguelandia.

“Y/n.” Sarah cheered with a smile, running over to you. You quickly hugged her as the two of you jumped up and down, smiles plastered across your faces. It felt like suddenly you were sixteen years old again, seeing your best friend after you were in Europe for the summer.

You thought you were going to cry when you saw your brother. You left Sarah’s side and ran over to him, practically tackling him to the ground as you hugged him.

“You know, I expected the first hug, but the second one is fine too.” JJ joked, returning your hug. His voice was like music to your ears. It broke your heart to leave him here on Kildare, but you needed to get out of here, away from everything and everyone.

“You are never hunting for gold, ever again.” You warned, pointing your finger at him. “I’ve never been so worried in my life when my mom called to tell me you were a missing person. She came and got you right? From the airport.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He answered, nodding his head. “She actually let me crash at her place for a while.”

“Good.” You smiled before walking over to John B.

“You know when you left I was pretty certain you were never coming back.” John B said as he hugged you. “You had me pretty worried.”

“Never say never, JB.” You returned the hug with a smile before moving over to hug Kie and Pope. “You must be Cleo.” You smiled towards the girl who you didn’t recognize but had heard plenty about.

Everyone hung out in the backyard and you told them all about your company that was quickly taking off and they told you about the business they started in the backyard.

“So, like, do you have an assistant now?” Sarah asked, knocking her shoulder against yours.

“I do.” You answered, cringing a little. You never imagined having your own assistant, you always thought it was pretentious, but when things started piling up, you realized quickly you would need one.

When the pogues told you about what happened at the Enduro, you felt a fresh wave of anger surge through you. The type of anger you hadn’t felt in a long time. The type of anger only one person has ever been able to bring out in you, Rafe Cameron.

“I’ll see you guys later.” You muttered, standing up and pulling your car keys out of your jean shorts pocket.

You raced to the Cameron estate, typing in the gate code that you had had memorized since you were a kid. You quickly pulled into the driveway once the gate opened and got out of your car, slamming the door shut. You thought about just storming in there like you owned the place, but instead you took a second and knocked on the door politely. You knew that if you pounded on the door, no one would open it, probably terrified.

“Y/n.” Sofia said softly when she opened the door.

“Where is he?” You were fuming. Sofia didn’t know a lot about you, but she knew when you were angry, not to try to stand in your way.

“H-He’s upstairs in his bathroom.” She answered and you pushed past her, before running up the stairs.

You pushed open the door to his bedroom, a room you spent countless nights and hours in, but before you let yourself reminisce, you walked into his bathroom. The bathroom was steamy, Rafe obviously just got out of the shower as he wrapped a towel around his waist. He looked up at the sound of the door opening expecting Sofia, but his smile dropped when he saw you. His eyes raked over you, he thought you looked good, older, more mature. But when his eyes landed on your face, he already knew you were pissed.

“Y/n.” He said cautiously.

“Are you crazy?” You walked over to him and pushed him, but Rafe barely moved. “You could’ve killed him.” Another push. Rafe almost killing JJ wasn’t the only reason you were pushing Rafe, it was like every emotion you had suppressed about Rafe was suddenly bubbling to the surface and threatening to spill over. “Seriously, do you ever think? You told me in that letter you wrote that JJ would be off limits, no matter what.”

“You read my letter?”

“Yes, I read your twenty page letter! But, that doesn’t change anything, Rafe, you still almost killed my fucking brother!”

“Let’s not be overdramatic, I tapped his bike and he fell.”

“Really? You just tapped it? Is that why you both went flying?”

“Oh, I see why you’re so upset, you were worried about me.” Rafe smirked down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Worried about you? Please, Rafe, I haven’t worried about you in two years.” You scoffed, crossing your own arms. But the truth was, you did worry about Rafe. Not about his physical well being, but his sanity. You worried about it every day since he killed Peterkin.

“Right, and that’s why you didn’t send those flowers when my dad died?”

“I-I didn’t send any flowers.” You were lying straight through your teeth. Of course you sent flowers when you heard Ward had died, you wanted Rafe to know you would always be there for him without him knowing it was you.

“Really? Y/n, your signature flower was in the bouquet.” Your face faltered a little, you knew you shouldn’t have put those stupid flowers in the bouquet, but you wanted to do something that showed it was you, even if Rafe didn’t realize it. You never would’ve thought he would remember what your favorite flower was.

“I’m not here to talk about what happened almost two years ago, Rafe, I’m here to talk about yesterday.”

“What happened, happened, y/n, there’s nothing you can do to change it.”

“No, but you can apologize.”

“Apologize? To a pogue?”

“Look, I’m giving you until the end of the night to apologize and if I find out you didn’t, I will ruin your life, Cameron.”

As you turned to leave, Rafe called out saying, “I’ll see you later tonight, Thornton.”

That was your breaking point. The idea that Rafe would show up at your homecoming party with the help hanging off his arm pissed you off to no end. Every emotion you felt coming back here was boiling over and you picked up the closest thing to you, throwing it towards Rafe’s head. But, Rafe ducked before the glass hit his head, smashing against the wall.

With that you turned on your heel and walked out of the Cameron estate, driving just next door to start getting ready for your homecoming party.

“Everything okay?” Sofia asked Rafe, standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

“Everything’s fine.” Rafe responded, a little snappy. “Just an old friend saying hi.”

“An old friend? Or an old girlfriend?”

Sofia knew all about your relationship with Rafe. She would see the two of you at the club, golfing together or playing tennis, grabbing lunch or getting drinks. She saw how happy the two of you looked, until you stopped showing up one day. No more golf or tennis games, no more lunch, no more drinks before going to get dinner at an expensive restaurant. No more you.

That was when she swooped in. She attempted to put Rafe back together piece by piece, but it was like none of the pieces fit each other. Eventually, she just accepted she would never get to experience the love he had with you for herself, just happy that she had Rafe to herself for the time being. In the back of her head she knew you would come back one day, but she just kept that thought locked up, ready to deal with it when the time came. But, now the time has come and she doesn’t know if she’s ready to deal with losing Rafe.

♡♡♡

You walked through your childhood home’s backyard, with a glass of champagne, saying hello to everyone you came across. This was your chance to network on Kildare, gain the clientele and investors you really wanted and needed to start building on Kildare. Your eyes darted over to a table by the house and there he stood, talking to people you had just chatted up. You excused yourself from the table you stood at and made your way over, downing your glass of champagne before putting it on a server’s tray.

“The woman of the hour.” An older man said with a smile, raising his glass towards you, you returned the smile with your own, followed by a quick hello.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything important.” You laughed politely. “I was just wondering if I could borrow Mr. Cameron here just for a moment.” You put your hand on Rafe’s bicep, looking up at him with the fakest smile you could muster.

“Of course.” The older man responded with a small nod of his head.

“Thank you.” You excused the two of from the table, dropping your hand from Rafe’s arm as you walked in front of him, leading him to the porch, away from everyone so you could have a private conversation. You would’ve gone inside, but the woman of honor could not be seen sneaking inside during her own party, much less with her ex-boyfriend.

“Keep smiling.” You started while plastering a polite, fake smile on your face. “I don’t need them thinking something is wrong. What are you doing here?”

“I told you I was coming.” Rafe smirked down at you, shoving his hands in his dress pants pockets.

“I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

“I’ll always show up for you.”

“Where’s your girlfriend?” You asked, ignoring Rafe’s comment.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t know, Rafe, I think you do and I think you’re scared to admit it because you’re scared of what people are going to say when they find out you’ve been sleeping with the help.”

“Sofia is not the help.” He scoffed.

“Really? Because if I remember correctly she used to make us drinks at the club all the time. I mean we would be there and she would be there, but she would be behind the bar serving everyone drinks. Or if we were playing a round of golf she would always be a cart girl, you know now that I think of it, she was always around, wherever you were at the club, she was there ready to help. Sounds like the help to me, oh and a bit stalker-ish. Also, if you could tell her to get off the balcony, she’s dampening the mood of my party.” You pointed to Rafe’s balcony where Sofia stood, scanning the crowd for him, looking like a starved, sad puppy. You grabbed a champagne flute off of a server’s tray and walked back out into the crowd before Rafe could say anything else.

“Ms. Thornton.” A blonde woman said with a smile, stopping you in your path. You recognized her, you just couldn’t place it. “How nice to see you, welcome back to Kildare.”

“Mrs. Robinson.” You greeted her with your own polite smile. “Thank you, it’s so wonderful to be back, I forgot how nice everyone is.”

“You know, I heard you’ve become one of the leaders in the development business lately. I have a fantastic business opportunity for you, if you would love to hear it sometime.”

“I love business opportunities, let me give you my number.”

♡♡♡

“So, did Rafe, ever like apologize to you for knocking you off your bike at the Enduro?” You asked your brother as you sat across from him on your boat. You decided everyone deserved a break from working so hard and invited them on your yacht for the day.

“No.” JJ answered with a confused look on his face. “Why would he ever apologize for doing something like that?”

“No reason.” You said, looking off towards the water. “I have to make a call.”

♡♡♡

You were at the club playing a game of golf when one of the managers came out to talk to you.

“Nice swing, Ms. Thornton.” He said with a smile, his hands behind his back.

“What’s up, James?” You asked, putting your 9-Iron back in your bag.

“You asked me to come get you if Mr. Cameron showed up, he’s here.”

“Thank you, James.” You smiled, pulling your gloves off as you walked inside. You walked outside the front doors to where Rafe stood with his arms crossed.

“Seriously, you had my club membership revoked?” Rafe asked.

“You know that’s the nice thing about my step-dad owning the country club, I can do whatever I want.”

“You think that this is ruining my life?” Rafe chuckled, looking down at you.

“Oh no, this is just the start. I mean what will everyone say when they find out Rafe Cameron, the owner of Cameron Development, got kicked out of the country club? I mean all it takes for you to become an outcast is for me to tell one person that you got kicked out for assaulting the owner’s prized step-daughter.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“You’re right I won’t, if you apologize.”

“You’d be willing to ruin someone’s life because of a race?”

“No, Rafe, I’m willing to ruin your life because of all the other bullshit you’ve pulled with my brother and friends.” You said, glaring up at Rafe. “It’s about time someone held you accountable for your actions and if the cops won’t, then I will.” You added with a shrug. You went to walk away, but Rafe grabbed your elbow, pulling you back.

“I am not that person anymore, y/n. You can’t hold that shit against me.”

“You mean I can’t hold you almost drowning Sarah, or shooting her, or the countless times you beat the shit out of Pope, against you?”

“And what if everyone found out about the abortion you got?”

“Keep your voice down.” You said through gritted teeth, your face a mixture of hurt and embarrassment. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to throw that in my face. You know that was one of the hardest decisions of my life.”

When you and Rafe first started dating you had missed a couple of your birth control pills. You were so wrapped up in applying to colleges and scholarships that you thought it wouldn’t hurt to miss one or two every time you turned off the alarm, saying you would take them later. But, before you knew it, you had missed a week.

Luckily, with your form of birth control you still experienced your periods, so you knew something was wrong when you missed your next period. You had chalked it up to stress, but when it didn’t come the next week or the week after that, you decided to buy a couple tests. When they all came back positive, you panicked, you didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t part of your plan.

You thought the decision would be easy, but when the day of your appointment came and you sat in the chair as the doctor went over everything with you, you thought about everything. The color its hair would be, if it would have your eyes or Rafe’s eyes, if it would be good at sports. But, then you realized that’s all it was to you, an it.

After the abortion, you laid in bed for a week, unable to do anything. You didn’t regret it, but the thought that you had just gotten rid of a part of you and Rafe was tough for you to deal with. Rafe wasn’t upset, or mad, or disappointed, he was understanding. He laid in that bed with you for a week. He helped you shower, he helped you with your homework as best as he could, he helped you study for your tests. He didn’t leave your side until he was certain you were okay.

“Apologize to JJ and I won’t say anything to anyone, you’ll get your membership back, and we can go back to pretending like we don’t know each other just like the last two years.”

“I’ll apologize to your brother, but I’m not just gonna walk around here pretending I don’t know you.”

“I don’t know what you want from me Rafe. Do you really expect me to forget all the atrocious things you did to my friends?”

“No, I just want you to know I’m not that guy anymore. I’m trying to do better, I’m in therapy, I got off coke, Cameron Development is better than ever.”

“Rafe, all of that is great, but I can’t just ignore everything. I have a game to finish.”

With that you walked back inside the club, leaving Rafe standing outside.

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findingcrow · 1 year ago

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Hey making my return just for this

Grian told Cleo and Etho “If we turn red today, I’m sticking by you. That’s the deal. It’s not over until it’s over.” Which, first of all, is such a big deal because he’s known for going wherever is continent (“I’ve never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses so fast” - Scott) and he actually stayed loyal to them and kept his word. Etho and Cleo knew he wasn’t trustworthy and still welcomed him with open arms.

At the end of Secret Life for Etho, he died by saying “I’m going home everybody, I’m dying in my home.” The place that he made with Grian and Cleo, and he called it home.

Now, keeping all of this in mind, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if the roomies had won. I mean all of the odds were against them, but just imagine for a moment. It would be Desert Duo at the sand castle all over again. None of them wanted to win without each other, but there could only be one.

Grian having to relive the cactus circle all over again? Etho finally being present in what he called a family and having to make the decision to die or to kill? Cleo being comfortable and accepting these idiots, and now she has no choice but to do the unspeakable? It’s not like all three of them can win. In their minds it would always be the three of them, but in the Watcher’s minds, there can only be one.

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russetfoxfur · 1 year ago

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mcyt is NOT beating the criminal allegations

- mumbo did season eight which. ah. produced the wonderful quote: "My parents are still alive... but that can be changed."

- cub eats people

- bad is a cannibal. this is different from eating people, according to my irl. do i want to know

- fit was on 2b2t

- wilbur blew up a country and killed a buncha people

- phil blew up that country too (apparently)

- scar. ah. scar did monopoly mountain and things went downhill from there

- dont even get me started on gem. she started the whole secret life apocalypse. she killed etho at least sixteen times. she is on tumblr which means tango is scared of her AS HE SHOULD BE

- sausage had that whole esmp s1 evil thing. classifying this as sausage because i watched an episode of gem's where he appeared and nothing else and don't actually watch esmp except through osmosis

- didnt joe hills kill a bunch of dogs in s7

- etho ALSO kills people but BADLY (scar boogie kill)

- dream

- *eyeing zedaph's chamber suspiciously* this violates AT LEAST one scientific law or something

- grian. grian my beloved. why are you like this

- jaiden decimated the environment of teyvat

- see lizzie is like her husband. unhinged. shes just bad at surviving so no one gets to see it

- jimmy is like lizzie but more popular for it

- tango is a war criminal but he also makes funny sounds while he commits crimes so i think that negates the whole crimes thing

- while we're at it. all the lifers are criminals EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ

- xisuma boils chicken and eats kiwi skin. worst offense on this list by far

- gem gets a second place on this list because why not. she deserves it

- bdubs bites ankles. probably

- martyn brought the watchers to the life smp which is bad in and of itself. also the Assigned Criminal At Life Series thing

- cherrifire gets an honorary spot on this list mostly because she SHOULD be able to bite ankles. due to aforementioned martyn

anyways please tag w other crimes our blorbos have commited. cheers <3

EDIT: I will be adding more crimes now

- keralis was a capitalist in s7 who bought. rotten flesh. for 128 diamonds. truly exemplifying a billionaire there. dont worry dont worry. hes not a capitalist anymore....but he was once

- pearl poisons people and then has her dogs bite you. reasonable

- cleo does arson. she also kills people. but she does this a lot so it also negates the crimes

- don't mess with forgelabs

- ren has become a dictator at least twice. likes bloodshed. also treebark counts for all the anguish it causes everyone. also also ACALS (assigned criminal at life series)

ALSO if anyone is going to yell at me for fit being on 2b2t. i do not watch him. he is only here because my mcyt irls go insane about him. like all the time. in fact i don't watch qsmp or dsmp but theyre popular enough i know a bit about them. <3

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oh-snapperss · 1 year ago

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creature comfort

“We won’t win today,” Cleo says, and Etho knows she’s right. Knows their time has been running out since the first secret was whispered to them in voices all too familiar, has known that this day was coming, has known that all this time, it’s not been a question of if–it’s been a question of when.

They’re going to die today. Distantly, Etho wonders if the domesticity they’ve worked for will die with them, or if it will follow them back home.

Will his home ever be a physical place again? Home is where the hearth is, where the warmth is, where the world is shut out and it’s just the three of them.

Home is where Cleo is.

“That’s alright,” Etho smiles instead of voicing all of that, wishing, of all things, that he didn’t still have that awful cough that Cleo had insisted he rest over for a few days. “We’ll be alright.”

They’ll be dead–and what are the dead, if not alright? The dead don’t have coughs, or pain, or fear. They’re just dead. Etho thinks he might not mind it so much, this time. He’s finally learned to spend his time wisely, and he’s built a home no flaming arrow could ever take down.

Just by the cow pen, there’s a stupid little porch Etho had built a while back. They’re nowhere near it now, but every night he and Cleo had watched the sunset, drank a final cup of tea, and turned in to sleep over gossip and giggles only they could draw from each other this time ‘round. Before, Bdubs had made him laugh like that–now, Etho wonders how long before there’s a sword at his throat.

Even so, while Cleo laughs and watches him set Scar’s porch on fire, Etho hopes he might have the privilege of watching the sunset from the porch one last time. He’d survive the day, if only for another sunset with Cleo.

BANG.

Tango’s gone–Etho knows it in his heart. Surely he should feel an ache for him, should ask how he went. Instead, it’s easy to accept it.

The wardens are fun. That’s all they are, now. Before, they had been terrors, then the answer to a desperate prayer he and Grian had made. The carnage of those terrifying beasts feel muted compared to before, but with the wind flying through his hair, the elated cries of Cleo in front of him, Etho can’t care. Not this time. They lead two clear to the middle of the server before they’ve decided to finish having their fun, and Cleo’s just stepping up some rocks when she says it.

“You’re my favorite, you know that? You’ve always been my favorite.”

He does know, he does know now. He’d guessed it that first sunset, when Cleo sat down with a giddy smile to recount their day. He’d thought it, when she’d wrapped a blanket around his shoulders after his failures and rested her head on his shoulder without a word. He’d lived it, when she had shouted that she would kill him if he tried to kill her–but was reassured otherwise that night on the porch again, with the curse ebbing from his bones.

Today, he knows it in the blatant rebellion against what’s supposed to be the end, the dread, the fear.

“You’re mine too.” Etho grins back, and knows that they’ll see his smile even through the mask–knows they’ve come to recognize it in his tone and way his eyebrows scrunch together. .

They wind up in the sky base with Grian–Grian, who hasn’t quite reached the same conclusion they have. Etho knows by the shadows under his eyes he won’t give up, that he’ll fight clear to the end. Once upon a season, Etho had been the same.

Not this time. Never this time.

Around ten minutes to sunset, Etho and Cleo set down their dripstone and bows, and sit on the edge of the cobblestone wall.

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back to our base for it this time,” Etho jokes, nudging his shoulder into Cleo’s. Cleo laughs, a carefree thing, and wrinkles her nose.

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back for it any time, if we’re being honest.” She leans back, one hand half behind her to support her weight.

“I know,” Etho says. He brings his leg up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it. Behind them, cobblestone is placed–Grian, ever the survivor. “It was nice, though.”

“It was nice!” Cleo beams. “Are you alright with this?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Etho hums. “‘s not so bad. Dying with a friend.”

“It won’t be,” Cleo agrees.

Because that’s just it, isn’t it? Etho’s never died like this–he’s died at the flames of an arrow shot while protecting his king, he’s died in fights after his allies were killed. Hell, he’s died hand in hand with a soulmate hellbent on killing him now–but he’d been in a frenzy then, a rage-induced thing meant to burn up the place that had never been a true home to them.

He thinks he won’t mind dying with someone.

The sun sets in brilliant hues of orange and pink, and they sit together, this final tradition not lost in the face of inevitability. Just as the first star twinkles, Grian comes over, hoisting them back to their feet.

“They’re coming,” he says.

It’s time.

They shoot a few arrows, break some dripstone, all to no avail–but that’s alright, he’s got Cleo, and they’ve got him.

But oh, the games are never kind, are they? Etho slips, his foot landing weird somehow–and he’s whistling through the air towards the ground at a speed too fast. It knocks the breath from his lungs when he lands–does he hit the clutch? Stars, he doesn’t actually know, because there’s arrows shot at him, shouts of glee from the hunters, and suddenly Etho’s not Etho, he’s just prey–and prey only know to do one thing.

Run.

Etho flies forward, dragging his sword out. There’s not many safe spaces left on the server–stars, Grian had even mentioned their base was but a crater in the hill.

But the porch… the porch was intact. Supposedly.

He enderpearls, and enderpearls again, and it’s still not enough. The screams behind him are closer, and closer, and then further–and oh, Etho knows it’s time. He’s dead, he’s gone, he’ll be but a wisp of the wind in a few minutes whether he likes it or not.

And he won’t die by Cleo.

Cleo, Cleo, Cleo. Oh, he’d not meant it to be like this. He’d meant to die with a smile, right by her side–just as they were meant to die by his. This wasn’t the plan, this wasn’t the plan. A sob claws its way up his throat, the beginnings of the blind panic he’d never meant to feel tonight. He’s going to die, alone, without the comfort of his Cleo.

Home. He wants to go home.

Home is in the air, a hundred blocks above him. He’ll never make it–but he can make it back to the porch, the one place of peace. Now, he can feel the twinge of something broken in his ankles, probably from the fall–and the cuts, the bruises, the blood scent thick in his nose. He’s so tired.

He wants to die at home, he wants to die at home.

“Oh, he sounds like a wounded animal… let’s put him out of his misery.” A voice said. Cold fear grips Etho’s heart, and he stumbles forward–the porch is in sight!

Let him die at home. Let him die at home.

A shadow fills his vision, and Etho’s not even had time to lift his shield before blinding pain fills his stomach, and it’s over.

He’s not allowed that creature comfort of dying at home.

#secret life #secret life smp #ethoslab #zombiecleo #cletho #secret life spoilers #my fics #tw death #I don't have an explanation at all for this #Is this cohesive?? i wrote it in a daze. in under thirty minutes #if it's not great OH WELL #this is how i am coping #god i'm never gonna feel okay again about them #never ever #i'm fucking insane #bursts into tears

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microwavesaferat · 18 days ago

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Okay, I never post on Tumblr but I just got hit with such a violent hyperfixation that I forcibly had to put into words so, this is long one.

Life Series SMP as the Magnus Archives

So I had an idea for a Life Series AU where all the players are an avatar of one of the fears from tma. Warning that I haven't seen all Cc's povs so I'm mainly going off of vibes and moments I remember. I also tried to have at least 1 member in each fear.

Bdubs - The Dark

This is for obvious reasons with his association with sleeping and clocks. My hc is that, cause he can't sleep the night away, he kind of became an avatar of the dark. I like the idea of him just kind of hiding in shadowy corners, the only way to know he's there is by the sound of the clock letting you know that it's night now and you should not be out at this time.

BigB - The Spiral

This is mainly based on the whole thing with secret life and the weird corridors he had. I like the idea of that every time you look at him, you're not sure what emotion he is feeling. Is he happy? Annoyed? Angry? Who's to say. And where does that corridor lead anyway? Oh, wait, he says there are no corridors, but you just saw one didn't you? Oh, it's gone now, where did it go? Where did it's contents go?

Cleo - The Flesh

This was an obvious one. As much as I think she could also fit into other categories like the desolation, it's too hard to ignore the obvious aesthetical choice of making them a Flesh avatar. I mean, come on. I think as a fully realised avatar, she would have too many limbs. There are at least 7 leg warmers and sweatbands, not all on legs or arms. She had to work hard at jazzercise to get legs like that. And I mean it, the original owner was still using them.

Etho - The Stranger

This was a tough one, but I kind of like where I ended up. In almost every season, he has had more than one alliance, usually a main team and a back up one. Especially in Wild Life, where he was teamed with pretty much everyone. I think he, as a full stranger avatar, is always your friend, but also always your enemy but he's also the enemy of your enemy so he's your friend? At this point you're not sure how loyal he is to you or anyone for that matter. I also think that everyone has seen under the mask, but it's all different things. "I saw Etho's face, he had a huge mustache" "What? No, he doesn't have a mouth" "I saw that he had 2 mouths under there" "I saw every possible outcome of every universe happening simultaneously and in all of them, humanity perishes" "this is why we don't talk to you."

Gem - The Corruption

So this is mainly to do with the whole zombie thing in Secret Life. I was toying with the idea of Bdubs being the Corruption as well due to the Boogieman kills. I'm still not entirely sure of my decision. I want the Corruption ideas to lean into how people draw Gem as some form of woodland creature or druid. I like the idea of the Corruption being like plant life/small bugs. As a full avatar, she would look like how she is commonly drawn, but it's not entirely clear if that's skin, fur or bark. There's bugs in it regardless. Are her eyes glowing? Is it the fireflies around her or is it actually coming from her eyes? I think she'd appear almost like the Creaking, where you turn away and suddenly greenery and bugs start swarming from the ground, consuming you.

Grian - The Eye

I'm really in-between fears for this. As much as the Watcher symbolism works well for the Eye, I wasn't sure if I wanted both him and Martyn to be avatars of the Eye. I eventually decided, given he sets up the games and runs them, Knowing slightly more info than other participants, it does really tend towards the Beholding. I like the idea of an unwilling avatar like Jon is, but his abilities grow more and more over the seasons before it gets to Wild Life where someone is like "I wonder what the wildcard is today" and Grian is just suddenly flashbanged with the image of:

🐌

Impulse - The End

I haven't really watched Impulse POVs so I wasn't really sure what to do. I have a vague memory of him always doing quite well and getting in the last few a lot. I also know that previous teams have banked on Impulse being the member that could actually win. Regardless, he always dies just before he can win. I think he's a new, unwilling avatar, not fully coming to terms with his new identity, he always gets so close, only for death to sweep him away and he is forced to try again. I think that he, as an avatar, would be themed around wasting time, the concept that everything ends in death so the time spent before is pointless and wasted, this especially applies after his death in limited life.

Jimmy - The End

I mean, come on. The Canary Curse? Need I say more? I will add though that I think he's slowly becoming a fully realised avatar, hence why, in recent seasons he's not been out first, able to harness and manipulate his curse. Jimmy's always the first out, so we're all safe until he goes.... Right?

Joel - The Desolation

So this is about the whole "the ship burns, everything burns". I feel like, near the end of every series, he slowly gets more and more angry and violent. He usually starts acting almost desperate, think of his desperation in Last Life with his faulty traps. He is angry, volatile, and will do anything to burn everything you cherish to the ground. If the ship burns, everything burns.

Lizzie - The Buried

I've never really watched Lizzie's POV and I also didn't have anyone for the Buried. I couldn't think of anyone else that would work, so this is based on how, whenever she dies, someone seems to try and sell her bones to Joel. It's a weirdly common thing. I was gonna do the vast cause of her ending in Secret Life, but she did go down, not up, so I prefer the idea that she got stuck underground. It may look like the night sky, but it's the lack of air slowly choking her, unable to claw her way out, suffocating in silence deep under the ground.

Martyn - The Hunt

So I was also gonna put Martyn with the Eye because of the whole Watcher/Listener thing, but I think the Hunt fits better. I like the arc of his transformation over the course of the Life Series. In 3rd Life, he's essentially a soldier for the Red Army. Then, after realising the bloodlust and red haze, he becomes a relatively peaceful Southlander. But eventually, he kills his soulmate, unable to contain the need to kill and hunt. It reaches its peak in limited life where he just snaps, kind of like Daisy at the end of season 4. He then spent Secret Life as a dog before going back to his Red King as his hand in Wild Life. Ren may be an actual dog, but Martyn is his bloodhound.

Mumbo - The Web

Okay, hear me out: Mumbo as a very new avatar of the web who, due to the machinations of mother spider, is not aware of his avatar status, the avatar status of his pears, nor the existence of the fears at all. Think about it, every time Mumbo has gone out of the series, it has been his own fault. He attacks Grian unprepared, completely forgetting the ramifications of his actions. Gets stuck on a fence he placed then killed by a Warden. Gets stuck in his own spider's web of tnt minecart tracks. He also never goes for kills with basic PvP, it's always some elaborate scheme; making end crystals from a ghast farm, making a complex system of tracks for launching tnt, digging out a pit under a base and waiting for sooooooo long for someone to conveniently walk over the hole (also the web fucked that up for him with the fireworks in the background). I also really like the idea of the webs being like lines of redstone. I cannot draw, but can fully imagine the fanart in my head.

Pearl - The Hunt/Lonely

So Pearl is a double avatar. I couldn't decide between them. I hc her as the concept of looking out on the moors to see the silhouette of a lone hunter, on a horse with only the company of her hunting dogs. I think she embodies the solitude and the quiet of hunting by yourself. The only company she has is snarling hunting dogs, there to help stalk and tear at her prey. The only issue is, this hunter isn't looking for game.

Ren - The Slaughter

Ren does also fit with the hunt, but given his whole King persona, he lends more to the idea of a war waged by leaders in distant lands with a large toll amounting of nameless soldiers fighting for ideals their King tells them to believe in. I think his whole Red King character is pretty much a Slaughter avatar as is, so not much needs to change. I'm not entirely sure how I mix this with other seasons, but I do believe that Ren's most iconic character is the Red King, so fight me I guess. Red Winter is coming.

Scar - The Lonely

So Scar always focused on his connection (or lack there of) with Grian. He died, leaving his partner alone. Then he lived in recluse on a mountain, unable to bring back what he had. Even when forced to partner up, he is still alone. It takes him till Secret Life to finally embrace his avatar identity of being alone. Rumour has it that, on the Secret Life world, you can hear faint humming. No idea where the source is though, it's hard to find anything in the vast sunflower field.

Scott - The Vast

Scott was also hard to place, but I can't fight his whole spacey vibe. I also like the idea that, by refusing to succumb to the Boogieman curse, he defied the Watchers, these enormous, all powerful deities. I like the imagery of Scott, an ant in the face of these gods, being the bigger man.

Skizz - The Lonely

So Skizz is normally one of the first out in his team. He's also prone to sacrificing himself for the sake of the team. I think that is a lonely existence. I believe that Skizz, after giving his life to allow his team to move on, is forced to sit and watch. Unable to talk to his former teammates and stuck in isolation watching them go on without him.

Tango - The Desolation

Tbf, I think the way people draw Tango as a blaze has skewed my perception a bit. But I do believe the volatile anger he has works well with the idea of the desolation. As well as that, he has also had everything he loves destroyed. His ranch, his trust, etc. he's experienced so much desolation, he has simply become the burning fire of grief that laps at his feet.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or changes I should make.

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